A couple of weekends ago I had the opportunity to engage in some fellowship and Kyudo practice with such a diverse group of students this past Sunday afternoon at our spring Beginner's Intensive. People came from as far away as Calgary, Vegreville, and Elk Point to learn about zen archery and perhaps experience their "first shot," each of them with a varied background. We were blessed to have amongst us a competitive Western archer, a couple of university students, martial arts practitioners, and a twelve year-old boy. It was a joy to meet and shoot with all of them that afternoon and to learn about piqued their interest in this ancient and dignified form of meditation. It was also a time for me to receive some instruction from our little group's sensei, John Mills and to refine my practice event further.
About half way through the afternoon session, we took a break and listened to some select readings from various books on Kyudo, including One Arrow, One Life, the book that inspired the title of this blog. Out of those readings came the question, "How did you feel when you made your first shot?" Some of the answers were quite surprising.
One of the new students had stated that, although he had indeed carried out his first shot, he had felt that he in actuality did not. I was a bit puzzled by that comment; however, delving into it a bit further I came to realize that people obviously came to the Beginner's Intensive with varying expectations. While, I am not surprised that about 60% of those in attendance had come into the sessions with experience in the fighting arts. I am not certain if that had any bearing on his comment but I suspect that it did.
One of the young ladies who had been with us during the "First Shot" course was, I believe, a practicing Buddhist and with her she had brought with her not only her experiences from the fighting art Akido but from her mediation practice also. Her reaction was different in that she reported an overwhelming sense of openness and joy upon her first shot and that the feeling had moved her to tears. This young lady and her friend joined us at our "official" practice the following Friday and it was a pleasure to watch them both as they continued on and joined us on our path.
This discussion caused me to reflect on my own "first shot" experience and it surprised me a bit. You see, prior to attending the Beginner's Intensive nearly two years ago, I had some previous experience with Kyudo, albeit as a casual observer. I had read Zen in the Art of Archery and had watched some of my fellow Kyudoka during kyudo demonstrations at club special events and open houses and so, I entered the Beginner's Intensive with some pre-conceived ideas as well. I think the biggest one was mushin and how the archer is supposed to empty his mind and not "think" as he is executing the shot. While this may be true where kyudo is practiced as a sport or martial art, it is not true where it is practiced as a form of meditation.
Rather than surprise or elation, my reaction to my first shot was indifference. To me, the experience was neither exciting or boring. It just "was." I remember in my mind after hearing and seeing my ya hitting the back stop thinking, "huh." It wasn't a surprised "huh" or an negative "huh," just "huh." I've tried to analyze this moment over the past couple of years but at this point, I've decided to give up trying to understand my indifference. It is what it is and just like the thoughts we may have during sitting or walking meditation practice, I need to accept it for what it is and then let it go.
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